Dr. Maya Shankar: How to Shape Your Identity & Goals | Huberman Lab Podcast

Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and former senior advisor to the White House, explores the relationship between identity and goals. She shares research on identity, goals, motivation, and plans, and provides practical tools to assess and align one's goals with their true identity. The conversation delves into how identity and goals influence each other in shaping one's desired future. Identity foreclosure and identity paralysis are discussed as limitations to personal growth, and the importance of anchoring identities to underlying motivations and values is emphasized. The video also explores the impact of delight and awe on shaping our identity and goals, and the importance of curiosity and growth in competitive environments. The process of re-creating oneself after experiencing loss or significant change is discussed, along with the value of pop-science books in making science accessible. The importance of empathy, self-awareness, and critical feedback in personal growth is highlighted, as well as the impact of framing goals and having agency in goal pursuit. The video concludes with discussions on cultivating open-mindedness, challenging beliefs, and the role of empathy in building self-narratives.

Dr. Maya Shankar

Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and former senior advisor to the White House, explores the relationship between identity and goals.
She shares research on identity, goals, motivation, and plans.
Dr. Shankar provides practical tools to assess and align one's goals with their true identity.
The conversation delves into how identity and goals influence each other in shaping one's desired future.

Identity Foreclosure, Identity Paralysis, Throughlines

Identity formation is influenced by observation and labels imposed by others, leading to identity foreclosure and limited potential. Society emphasizes defining ourselves by what we do, anchoring our identities to achievements and goals.

Identity foreclosure is defining oneself solely based on a specific role or activity.
Identity paralysis occurs when that role or activity is no longer possible, leaving individuals feeling stuck and unsure of their value or purpose.
Anchoring identities to underlying motivations and values creates a more durable sense of self.
Dr. Maya Shankar shares her experience of finding her core identity beyond being a violinist, emphasizing human connection and understanding others as driving forces.
During times of change and loss of identity, it is helpful to identify underlying features of what one loves and express them in different areas of life.

Identity & Adolescence; “Essence” & Shame

During adolescence, teenagers question their identity and explore who they want to be outside of their upbringing. This exploration can involve trying on different identities and behaviors.

The video discusses the psychology of essentialism and its impact on our identity and self-perception. Essentialism suggests that certain aspects of ourselves are fixed and cannot be altered, leading to feelings of shame.

However, the speaker argues for a more malleable understanding of identity, suggesting that humans are a collection of behaviors and thoughts. This mindset encourages growth and discourages harmful self-narratives and self-criticism.

Delight & Awe

Delight and awe are two emotional experiences that can have a profound impact on our identity and goals. Delight is often found in the process of learning and can be triggered by various stimuli, such as animals or playing the violin. Awe, on the other hand, is characterized by a sense of vastness and wonder. It can be evoked by physical or conceptual immensity, such as Times Square or a scientific discovery. Awe-inspiring experiences challenge our existing mental models and require us to accommodate new information, leading to more open-mindedness. Both delight and awe can shape our perception of the world and contribute to personal growth.

Delight & Possibilities for Self

The experience of delight and the possibilities for self are explored in various domains such as music, biology, and neuroscience. The speaker emphasizes the importance of active engagement and participation in a particular domain, leading to a sense of delight and belonging. They highlight the transformative power of finding one's place and becoming something bigger than initially thought possible. The concept of awe is discussed as a powerful tool for shaping our identities and goals.

Playing Violin, Childhood

The most profound aspect of the topic is the personal experiences and influences related to playing the violin and choosing career paths.

Key Points:

The speaker failed at playing the violin and realized early on that they wouldn't be a musician.
The speaker has no ability to read music but still loves classical music.
The host of the podcast became quite good at playing the violin, which was seen as a rebellious choice given their family's background in theoretical physics.
The speaker felt pressure to be a scientist like their siblings but also mentions their mother's excitement for more opportunities in the United States.
The speaker's affinity for the violin was discovered at a young age, and they had intrinsic motivation to practice.
They learned to play by ear through the Suzuki method and had an inexperienced teacher.
The speaker's experience of learning to play the violin as a child was guided by their emotions and innate musicality.
Their unconventional approach allowed them to focus on the enjoyable aspects of playing and cultivate a natural love for the instrument.

Intrinsic Motivation; Juilliard & Courage

The most profound aspect of the text is the discussion on intrinsic motivation and its impact on identity and goals.

Key points:

Receiving rewards for initially intrinsically motivated activities can undermine intrinsic motivation.
External factors, such as comparisons and discouragement, can influence intrinsic motivation.
Social media and video games can set unrealistic benchmarks for success.
The speaker's parents' approach allowed them to fully express and lean into their intrinsic motivation.
The speaker's success in getting into Juilliard was influenced by their fearless mother's encouragement.
Imaginative courage and creating opportunities when they don't exist are important for success.
Taking risks and embracing opportunities can lead to positive outcomes.
Surrounding oneself with highly driven individuals can provide inspiration but also lead to feelings of demoralization.
Embracing challenges and finding motivation from both external sources and personal growth is important.
Self-criticism plays a significant role in shaping one's identity and goals.

Competitive Environments; Curiosity & Growth

In competitive environments, it is important to maintain a sense of curiosity and growth. This can be achieved by reframing external rewards and finding delight in the process. Anchoring oneself to the source of passion and identifying energizing characteristics can provide insulation from external noise. Embracing the process and finding fulfillment in it leads to personal growth and improvement. Curiosity, progress, and focus are essential qualities for success in any domain.

Re-Creating of Self

The process of re-creating oneself after experiencing loss or a significant change in one's life is explored in this video. The speaker shares a personal experience of how her identity was shaped by playing the violin and how losing that identity left her feeling lost. She discusses the importance of finding new passions and exploring different interests as a way to rediscover oneself. The speaker also mentions the advice her father gave her to read a lot, which helped her in the process of re-creating her identity.

Personal experience of losing identity after a career-ending injury in violin
Rediscovering indomitable qualities such as curiosity, hard work, and human connection
Realization of the significance of the violin in shaping identity
Dampening of organic traits for a period of time
Importance of finding new passions and exploring different interests
Advice to read a lot as a way to re-create identity
Sparked fascination with the complexity of the human mind and exploration of cognitive processes such as math, problem-solving, emotions, and relationships
Emphasis on understanding these processes to shape one's own identity and goals.

Pop-Science, Science Accessibility

Pop-science books are valuable in making science accessible and engaging to a wider audience. They introduce scientific concepts and ignite curiosity. These books are accurate and educational, not "dumbing down" science. They draw people from various backgrounds into the world of science. Exposing young people to pop-science books can lead to more diverse minds in scientific fields and foster innovative ideas. Scientists who effectively communicate complex concepts to the public are also important in making science accessible.

Passions & Curiosity

The most profound aspect of the text is the importance of curiosity and the desire to learn more as a guiding factor in pursuing new interests.

Transitioning from one passion to another can be challenging, as it involves letting go of a former identity.
It is important not to compare the feeling of excitement and passion in a new interest to the intensity of a previous passion.
Connecting curiosity to the actual pursuit of a subject and enjoying the process of getting better at it is crucial.
Curiosity is described as a deep motivation to explore and discover without being emotionally attached to the outcome.
Curiosity is a self-amplifying and never-ending journey that provides energy and excitement.
The genuine pursuit of knowledge without attachment to specific answers can be fulfilling and energizing.
The speaker highlights the interesting contrast between her passion for violin playing and her interest in cognitive science.

Change, Cognitive Closure, End-of-History Illusion

The topic of the video is about change, cognitive closure, and the end-of-history illusion.

Key points:

Cognitive closure refers to the need for clear answers and certainty, which can hinder adaptability and resilience.
Being open to mystery and inspiring experiences can lead to increased well-being and resilience in the face of change.
The end-of-history illusion is the belief that our current identity will remain constant in the future, despite acknowledging past changes.
Being curious about oneself and auditing personal changes is important for navigating life's transitions.
Changes in one aspect of life can have unpredictable effects on other areas.
We are dynamic beings capable of change, and our preferences, choices, and identities can evolve over time.

Self-Awareness & Critical Feedback

Summary: The snippets highlight the importance of seeking critical feedback from others to enhance self-awareness and personal growth. It emphasizes the value of understanding the impact we have on others and the challenges of receiving feedback in different environments. The speaker also emphasizes the value of direct feedback and disagreement in personal and professional development.

Tools: Flexible Mindset; Reframing & Venting; Gratitude

The most profound aspect of the topic is the importance of having a flexible mindset and being open to updating one's beliefs and opinions based on new information.

Having a flexible mindset and being open to changing one's beliefs and opinions is crucial for personal and professional growth.
Seeking honest feedback from trusted individuals can help identify blind spots and promote personal development.
Reframing situations and viewing them from different perspectives can lead to a more objective understanding.
Venting should be done in a way that promotes cognitive advice rather than emotional validation.
Using distancing techniques, such as imagining giving advice to a friend from a third-person perspective, can increase objectivity.
Practicing gratitude has positive effects on neural circuitry and neurochemistry.
It is important to filter and selectively engage with incoming information and focus on positive experiences.
Being aware of and internalizing positive feedback is beneficial, while narcissistic tendencies should be avoided.

Tool: Framing Goals

Framing goals in terms of approach rather than avoidance is more motivating on average. Approach-oriented goals are easier to measure and track progress, leading to better success. A small change in language can have a significant impact on behavior, such as reminding veterans that they have earned a benefit rather than just being eligible for it, resulting in a 9% increase in access to the program. The use of certain words can impact our motivation and behavior, with the word "earned" invoking a sense of action and motivation. People often wait for negative consequences rather than being motivated by positive incentives, highlighting the challenge of behavioral change. Simply telling people they are capable may not be enough to drive change, emphasizing the importance of changing behavior, particularly in relation to health.

Tool: Agency in Goal Pursuit

The concept of agency in goal pursuit is explored in this topic. The speaker emphasizes the importance of individuals having control and ownership over their goals, rather than having them set by others. They highlight the preference for using one's own judgment and feeling a sense of agency in achieving goals. The speaker suggests that while coaches and trainers can be helpful, individuals should still have a choice in setting their targets and be actively involved in the goal-setting process. Key points include:

Having a sense of control and ownership over goals and actions greatly boosts motivation and success.
Leveraging our natural desire for control enhances the pursuit of goals.
Allowing individuals to set their own deadlines and take control of their goals increases productivity and joy in their work.
Advisors should support students and postdocs without interfering with their intrinsic motivation.

Tool: Like-Minded People & Goal Pursuit; Challenging Beliefs

The influence of like-minded people on our goals and beliefs can be both beneficial and limiting. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals can provide motivation for goal pursuit, but it can also create an echo chamber effect that reinforces our beliefs without critical examination. To challenge our thinking, we can imagine how our beliefs would be different in a different time or culture, promoting open-mindedness.

Key points:

Like-minded people can motivate us in pursuing our goals.
However, being surrounded by like-minded individuals can limit our perspectives and hinder personal growth.
The echo chamber effect reinforces our beliefs without critical examination.
To challenge our thinking, we can imagine how our beliefs would be different in a different time or culture.
This helps detach our viewpoints from our identities and encourages open-mindedness.

Our identity and beliefs are shaped by the groups we belong to. Social forces and group affiliations strongly influence our perception of reality. A study showed that fans of opposing football teams displayed bias in favor of their own team when judging controversial referee calls.

Key points:

Beliefs and identity are influenced by the groups we identify with.
Social forces and group affiliations shape our perception of reality.
A study demonstrated bias in favor of one's own team among fans of opposing football teams.

When trying to change someone's beliefs, bombarding them with facts may not be effective. Understanding the underlying reasons for their beliefs and appealing to their sense of agency and humanity can be more successful. Daryl Davis, a black jazz musician, convinced members of the Ku Klux Klan to leave the group by understanding their motivations and offering an alternative sense of community.

Key points:

Bombarding someone with facts may not change their beliefs.
Understanding the underlying reasons for their beliefs can be more effective.
Appealing to their sense of agency and humanity can also be successful.
Daryl Davis convinced members of the Ku Klux Klan to leave by understanding their motivations and offering an alternative community.

Strategies to change people's minds and challenge their beliefs include showing genuine curiosity about their beliefs and asking them what evidence would change their mind. If someone is unwilling to change their mind, it may not be worth arguing with them. However, if they show openness to changing their mind, there is an opportunity for a productive conversation.

Key points:

Showing genuine curiosity about someone's beliefs can be effective in changing their mind.
Asking them what evidence would change their mind can also be successful.
If someone is unwilling to change their mind, it may not be worth arguing with them.
Engaging in a productive conversation is possible if someone shows openness to changing their mind.

Cultivating Open-Mindedness & Empathy

Cultivating Open-Mindedness & Empathy:

Understanding different perspectives and improving communication
Importance of empathy in public health and policy debates
Lack of empathy leading to communication failures and increased stress levels
Addressing mental health concerns and promoting overall well-being
Criticizing finger-pointing and name-calling instead of seeking solutions
Rarity of individuals willing to understand opposing views
Importance of empathy and learning about cognitive science
Having discussions with people who hold different beliefs
Gratitude for empathy allowing deeper understanding of others
Adopting a cognitive science perspective to develop a different viewpoint
Kindness towards others, even those with opposing views
Empathy as a way to prevent burnout in various aspects of life
Importance of being kind to oneself
Cultivating empathy as a practice, not the default state for most people.

Building Self Narratives: Empathy, Burnout

The most profound aspect of the topic is the importance of empathy and its impact on our ability to understand and help others.

Key points:

Society often values emotional empathy over other forms, discounting those who do not exhibit a visceral response.
Empathy languages, similar to love languages, should be recognized and valued equally.
Individuals high in emotional empathy are more prone to burnout, as they carry the burden of others' pain.
The instinct to shut oneself off from emotions as a coping mechanism is discussed.
Different categories of empathy, such as cognitive empathy and empathic concern, can be protective against burnout.
Being selective about the type of empathy one invests in is important.
Cognitive empathy is highlighted as an important and lesser-known aspect of empathy.
Empathy plays a role in shaping one's identity and goals.

Tools: Goal Setting

The most profound aspect of the topic of goal setting is the importance of setting personally meaningful goals and overcoming challenges with ongoing motivation.

Key points:

Setting goals that are personally meaningful is crucial for success.
Empathy gaps between our present and future selves can hinder goal achievement.
Setting goals in the same psychological and physiological state as when pursuing them can lead to greater success.
Incorporating an "emergency reserve" or "slack" into goal setting increases the likelihood of achieving goals.
Taking advantage of "fresh start" moments can be an opportune time to introduce new habits and patterns.
Fresh starts provide a clean slate and a sense of embarking on a new future.
Shortening the time domain over which we think about our goals can be helpful.
Having grace with oneself and making the desired outcome more compelling are important for goal achievement.

Tool: “Middle Problem”, Maintaining Motivation

The "middle problem" refers to the decrease in motivation that occurs during the middle of pursuing a goal. To combat this, it is suggested to shorten the time duration of goals and use temptation bundling. Temptation bundling involves pairing an unpleasant activity with an immediately rewarding and enjoyable activity. This strategy helps to focus on the long-term benefits of the unpleasant task while still experiencing immediate enjoyment. Dr. Maya Shankar discusses this tool for maintaining motivation, which is grounded in the neurobiology of reward and aversion.

Tool: Aversion & Memory, Peak-End Rule

The peak-end rule is a cognitive bias where people give more weight to the most emotionally intense moment and the end of an experience when reflecting back on it. This bias can be used to shape our goals and avoid aversion. Researchers have found that by slightly reducing the unpleasantness of the end of an experience, people tend to remember the overall experience more favorably.

The peak-end rule suggests that people's overall impression of an experience is heavily influenced by the peak (most intense) moment and the end of the experience.
By extending the duration of an unpleasant experience but making the last few minutes less intense, people tend to have a more positive impression of the experience.
This finding has implications for daily life, such as making difficult workouts more enjoyable by adding a few less intense minutes at the end.
It is important to consider individual preferences and tailor these recommendations accordingly.

Zero-Cost Support, YouTube Feedback, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Momentous, Neural Network Newsletter, Social Media

The video discusses identity, goals, and motivation with Dr. Maya Shankar. Viewers are asked to support the podcast by subscribing to the YouTube channel and leaving reviews on Spotify and Apple. Sponsors, such as Momentous supplements, are mentioned. Viewers are encouraged to sign up for the zero-cost neural network newsletter. The host discusses science topics on social media platforms. The video concludes with gratitude for viewers' interest in science.